Friday, April 2, 2010

Fashion Questions

I am not a fashionista by any sense of the word. The major portion of my wardrobe consists of jeans and t-shirts, with the occasional foray into velour sweats. So I am not speaking with any authority on fashion as I ask these questions.

I detest jumpers. If you are not a little girl, or a teenager in private school, they make you look frumpy. I ask you, when was the last time you saw a supermodel wearing a jumper? I admit, I own one. It's a maternity jumper, and I wore it when I was pregnant, under protest due to my feelings about jumpers.

I'm fine with layering-I do it myself from time to time, but I don't get putting a tank top or a halter top over a t-shirt. If you are concerned about modesty, what is wrong with just wearing the t-shirt? You pretty much look stupid wearing a t-shirt under your tank top. I'm just saying. I don't have an objection to wearing a tank top or a t-shirt under a shirt that is too low, or too short.

Flip flops are not dress wear. They do not support your feet. It seems like people wear them when it doesn't really make sense, like in the winter. Then you step in a pile of snow and your feet get cold. And what's with wearing shorts in the winter?

If you have a big butt, you shouldn't wear pants that have something written across the butt. You don't need to call attention to that area, and trust me, no one wants to read it. And no low ride pants or a tramp stamp either.

If you have kids, you are probably too old to wear a t-shirt with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it.

If you are still wearing clothes you wore in high school, and you just had your 20 year class reunion, it's time to go shopping.

Crocs are ugly. I have a pair. I love them. You'll pry them off my cold dead feet. But I don't wear them to church, business meetings, or fancy parties.

Back in my day, if your bra strap was showing that was considered a fashion faux pas. I know that it's been the style to have your bra strap, or even most of your bra showing, but really, we don't want to see that.

It is possible to buy pants that don't show your butt crack. Or your underpants. I'm just saying.

Men, they have this nifty clothing item called a belt. It is used to hold up your pants. That way we don't see your boxers, and your pants don't fall down.

Little girls should be dressed like little girls, not miniature street walkers. That's means animal prints are out, shorty shorts, tight skirts and halter tops. Little girls have no business with strappy heels. They do not need skimpy bikinis. They need cute dresses, t-shirts, and pants. With Hello Kitty on them, or something.

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