Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Fashion Notes for Swimmers or Just Say No To Crack

This is not for you skinny size 6ers who can trot around in your bikinis without a second thought. So stop reading.

I think anyone who wants to wear a swim suit should. I think larger gals should be applauded for having the guts to wear a suit and get out and have fun in the sun. However, a bikini might not be the best choice. Especially a string bikini. I'm just saying they don't have a lot of support. Or coverage. Which is why I must applaud the two ladies I saw at the pool today—they had age and size appropriate suits on, they were out in the sun and having a great time.

The pool isn't a fashion parade-it's a place for people to swim. So let's not shoot dirty looks at mommies who are lucky to squeeze into their old maternity suit yet are still game to go to the pool. If it fits, it can float.

We should thank our lucky stars that most men just go with trunks, rather than body hugging Speedos.

The tankini is possibly one of the greatest swim innovations of all time after water wings and swim diapers. You get the convenience of a two-piece, the ability to fit the top and bottom to the right sizes, and you can cover up what you want to. Genius.

Swim skirts are awesome, as are swim shorts. You can skip shaving and cover your butt. They are not just for old ladies any more.

Sun screen is your friend. You young gals might think you need to bare all your skin and get a tan, but time has a way of catching up with you. You will be wrinkled and crone like, with a dermatologist on speed dial.

There is nothing wrong with covering up as much as you can when going to the beach. Rash guards, beach cover ups, floppy hats, sunglasses, capris—these are all good things. They make your time at the beach or pool last longer.

It would be nice if more swim wear were designed with something other than a 20-year-old hottie in mind. Some of us are saggy, baggy, and may not want to show everything off to the world, but would still like to be able to get into the pool.

Manufacturers should immediately stop production of all swim suits for little girls using animal prints, skimpy bikinis, or suits designed to make them look sexy. They are little girls, let them be little. They need one piece suits and tankinis featuring Disney characters and My Little Ponies. And cutesy flip flops, not sandals with heels.

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