Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Really, You're Sticking With THat?

We all saw it coming. We knew it would happen. As much as we hoped it wouldn't, it was inevitable. I am talking, of course, about the skankification of Miley Cyrus. Yes, I made up the word skankification. If former President George W. Bush could make up words, then so can I.

I really didn't think the ice cream pole dance was that big of a deal, but the hoochy shorts were pushing it. But if you go onstage wearing something like this,

and then have the nerve to say "I'm not trying to be slutty" then you are so far over the truth line that you can't even see it.

Seriously, any self-respecting streetwalker wouldn't wear this thing. It's no wonder that her clothing line is on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart. No parent in their right mind is going to purchase clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. Plus the stretch pants were really ugly. I mean, super ugly. They are so ugly that I can't even find a picture of them on the internet to show you. They are skin tight and black and words fail me. And the stirrup pants? Even for $4 on clearance you're not going to find any takers. They were a disgrace back in 1986.

These shorts cost $14! Fourteen bucks for shorts that have holes in them and don't even cover your butt.

They are called distressed. I know I sound like a crotchety old man, but you could make those for free by cutting off the legs of pants you already own. You know, if your mother hasn't already chucked them because of the holes in them. I know my mother would've.

How about this one?

It's a romper. Last I checked only 3-6 month old babies wore those. They even come in different colors, with or without a back!

What's next, a tramp stamp? I don't think I want to know.

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