This is Halloween

What has happened to Halloween? Back when I was a kid (you know, when we were walking uphill both ways to school, barefoot, over shards of broken glass, just to work geometry with a broken pencil) Halloween was one of the best holidays of the year! Of course, we only had the one day and night to celebrate it, so our parents didn’t get burned out after taking us to three trunk-or-treats and trick-or-treating down main street.

This year H was sick, so she only went and trick-or-treated a few houses. And to be fair, she doesn’t really like candy, so the high point of our Halloween was playing Infamous Festival of Blood, which is awesome, albeit really short. Brent took her to about five houses, then she came in and had some Papa Murphy’s jack-o-lantern pizza (our Halloween tradition since the year dinner got burned up while I was trying to cook and hand out candy at the same time), and then I took her out and we hit another five houses. We walked past around 15 houses, as most of them had their lights off.

Brent had an old man moment when we realized that a lot of trick-or-treaters were skipping our house because the porch light was off, even though the pumpkins were lit. Back in the day if the pumpkins were lit it meant they were open for business. I did suggest to Brent that he go out and yell at the kids to get off his lawn.

I got annoyed with the fact that I had one more pumpkin to carve, so I carved a stupid face on it and stabbed it with my sheetrock saw, which has been an awesome tool for cutting into pumpkins. Usually I go all out on my jack-o-lanterns, but honestly this year I feel like I just called it in. I was going to do some really awesome pumpkins, but my wrist hurt so I didn’t really try. I did make an Edward Cullen pumpkin, and a snot shooting pumpkin, and H designed her very first pumpkin, and carved most of it herself.

Brent got into a car accident at the beginning of the month, so he didn’t feel good enough to decorate the front yard. I had foot surgery in September, and then had a bad reaction to a prescription, so I didn’t feel like decorating the house. I didn’t even dig out H’s trick or treat pumpkin, so she had to use a gift bag. We did manage to take her to the ward Halloween party, and she got to play some carnival games and trunk or treat. The party gave me a migraine, so I spent half of it in the foyer, and the other half in the Durango.

Back to my original rant, we had hardly any trick-or-treaters this year! I spent almost $30 on candy this year, candy bars even, and we have about 4 bags of it left. At least I only bought stuff that we like this year, so we shouldn’t run out of Hershey bars or Kit Kats any time soon.

I read the other day how many towns are legislating that Halloween be celebrated on last Saturday of October. As a parent, I can see the value in this. Of course, as a parent I can also see value in trunk-or-treats and trick-or-treating down main street. But as a parent, and neighbor, I like having the neighborhood kids dress up in costumes and stop by my house. I like giving H’s friends extra candy, and seeing how the kids grow. I also like keeping an informal tally of popular costumes—this year it seemed like there were a lot of Bumblebee’s from Transformers. Surprisingly, I didn’t see a lot of Rapunzels, and H was the only Darth Vader that we saw, although her friend Joey was dressed as Yoda.

Halloween Ghost

I hate the Halloween Ghost. The stupid ghost that shows up at your house with a plate of goodies and an admonition to make two more plates of goodies and keep it going on around the neighborhood. I also hate his cousin, the Christmas Star.

Why do I hate this tradition, you might ask. For starters, the stupid ghost does not make it around the entire neighborhood. Someone is always left out, which is obvious by the lack of a Xeroxed ghost in the window. Of course they also might be trying to score extra goodies by not displaying the ghost. But it becomes pretty obvious pretty fast who the popular families in the neighborhood are. And if you happen to live in an area where most of the people are members of the same religion, it also shows who the outsiders are.

Not everyone makes good treats. Some people make horrendous cookies. Others go the easy way and buy some goodies from the store. I could do that myself, and make sure it was something I wanted. The same with Christmas neighbor gifts. I don't need any more plates of candy or cookies. I certainly don't need any bottles of Sprite with a tag wishing me that my "days be merry and Sprite." I don't need bags of marshmallows labeled ghost poop. I don't need more Christmas ornaments. It would be nice if neighbors would spend the money and time consumed in creating and delivering neighbor gifts and instead used those resources on the local food bank, or other community needs.

But maybe I'm just being a little cranky because our house if often overlooked by the Halloween Ghost. I can't imagine why. Maybe it has to go with the go away or else sign in my front yard…