Really, You're Sticking With THat?

We all saw it coming. We knew it would happen. As much as we hoped it wouldn't, it was inevitable. I am talking, of course, about the skankification of Miley Cyrus. Yes, I made up the word skankification. If former President George W. Bush could make up words, then so can I.

I really didn't think the ice cream pole dance was that big of a deal, but the hoochy shorts were pushing it. But if you go onstage wearing something like this,

and then have the nerve to say "I'm not trying to be slutty" then you are so far over the truth line that you can't even see it.

Seriously, any self-respecting streetwalker wouldn't wear this thing. It's no wonder that her clothing line is on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart. No parent in their right mind is going to purchase clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. Plus the stretch pants were really ugly. I mean, super ugly. They are so ugly that I can't even find a picture of them on the internet to show you. They are skin tight and black and words fail me. And the stirrup pants? Even for $4 on clearance you're not going to find any takers. They were a disgrace back in 1986.

These shorts cost $14! Fourteen bucks for shorts that have holes in them and don't even cover your butt.

They are called distressed. I know I sound like a crotchety old man, but you could make those for free by cutting off the legs of pants you already own. You know, if your mother hasn't already chucked them because of the holes in them. I know my mother would've.

How about this one?

It's a romper. Last I checked only 3-6 month old babies wore those. They even come in different colors, with or without a back!

What's next, a tramp stamp? I don't think I want to know.

Really? You’re Sticking with That?

We all saw it coming. We knew it would happen. As much as we hoped it wouldn't, it was inevitable. I am talking, of course, about the skankification of Miley Cyrus. Yes, I made up the word skankification. If former President George W. Bush could make up words, then so can I.

I really didn't think the ice cream pole dance was that big of a deal, but the hoochy shorts were pushing it. But if you go onstage wearing something like this,

and then have the nerve to say "I'm not trying to be slutty" then you are so far over the truth line that you can't even see it.

 

Seriously, any self-respecting streetwalker wouldn't wear this thing. It's no wonder that her clothing line is on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart. No parent in their right mind is going to purchase clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. Plus the stretch pants were really ugly. I mean, super ugly. They are so ugly that I can't even find a picture of them on the internet to show you. They are skin tight and black and words fail me. And the stirrup pants? Even for $4 on clearance you're not going to find any takers. They were a disgrace back in 1986.

These shorts cost $14! Fourteen bucks for shorts that have holes in them and don't even cover your butt.

They are called distressed. I know I sound like a crotchety old man, but you could make those for free by cutting off the legs of pants you already own. You know, if your mother hasn't already chucked them because of the holes in them. I know my mother would've.

How about this one?

 

 

It's a romper. Last I checked only 3-6 month old babies wore those. They even come in different colors, with or without a back!

What's next, a tramp stamp? I don't think I want to know.

Domesticity 1

Last weekend I prepared four meals. This is the current record because although I like to cook, I really haven't made it a priority since before H was born. She's four now, almost five. As soon as I felt up to cooking again (H was two) my mom died, which sent me spiraling into a depression which I may never fully pull myself out of. Then we were in a car accident and it took quite a few months (and a prescription for Celexa) before I physically felt able to start cooking. Although I really didn't make a lot of meals. Maybe one or two a week.

Other stuff happened, and I am still grieving for my mom, and then my back went out. It's now been about 6 weeks and I'm starting to feel pretty good. Basically, I have run out of excuses to avoid cooking dinner. So on Friday I made steak. Yes, I did forget to make side dishes. In my defense, I was really sad on Friday and was doing good to make anything. Saturday was a holiday. On Sunday I made grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Since H was very sick we didn't go to my dads for dinner, so I went fancy and made waffles from scratch for my little family. Every bowl in my house is now dirty, but my husband loves waffles. On Monday I made grilled sandwiches for lunch again.

Today we embark on a new journey. My next cooking goal is to master macaroni and cheese from scratch. Having mastered Kraft Macaroni and Cheese quite awhile ago, I feel it is now time to step up my game. Plus my little brother makes awesome mac and cheese and as the big/only sister I feel it is my sworn duty to out do him. So I called him and got the recipe and spent $12 on cheeses. Provolone, Romano Reggiano and Mozzarella. Attempt one is today. Wish me luck. Wish my family luck, since they have to eat it.

Huh?

So I have a lot of issues with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse show, starting with the fact that only Tootles is smart enough to take supplies on an adventure, and it seems like everyone is pretty much incapable of holding anything, as they are always handing things off to hands that come out of nowhere. My current issue is the fact that there is a bridge in Mickey Mouse land made of glass. They can't walk over it without slipping, so they have to get a carpet from Tootles so they can cross the bridge. How that ever passed planning and zoning I don't know. You'd think even in Mickey Mouse land that they would think it unwise to build a bridge out of a breakable material, much less one that was likely to cause accidents. I'm just saying.

Home Cooks vs. Professional Chefs

I have been watching The Next Food Network Star. At the moment I am quite annoyed with Paul. He thinks he's quite a big shot, and not only is he condescending to the other contestants, he disparaged home cooks! Just because you aren't a classically or formally trained chef doesn't mean you can't prepare excellent food. And being a home cook doesn't mean you aren't capable of fixing food to serve hundreds of people, like the recent challenge of catering for Colbi Calliat's Grammy after-party. Anyone who has ever planned a wedding, a ward party, missionary welcome home, or has done food for a funeral is capable of feeding a large group. Basically, if you've ever been involved in anything concerning a church function you can pull that off.

I'll give you that home cooks differ from restaurant chefs. Unless you are out of your mind a home cook only prepares one meal at a time, not a different meal for each member of the family. From watching Supernanny I know there are a few exceptions out there, but for most of it there are two choices for dinner, which are take it or leave it. That's how it works around here.

And at home we have to wash our own dishes, so there isn't a never-ending stream of clean pots and pans appearing before us. And more often than not the home chef, aka Mom, ends up cooking the whole meal herself. There is not always a sous chef to help pick up the slack. Sometimes there is a little helper who insists on mixing the food or hanging on to your pant leg, but that is more of a hindrance than a help.

Home cooks are no strangers to food critics. Although a key difference is that we can opt to send the critic to their room without dinner, while a chef just has to take it.

I like the Food Network. Although there a few chefs I really can't stand watching, namely Rachel Ray-she's just too dang perky-I have learned a lot of new techniques and gotten a lot of ideas to try. The favorite waffle recipe in our house is Emerils.

So while I haven't picked a favorite chef to root for on this seasons Star, I definitely do not want Paul to win. And it's doubtless that a lot of other home cooks, which is most of the demographic for Food Network, agree with me.

Tennessee Part One

Was it lying when I led the TSA to believe that I had forgotten to take the DVD player out of my bag when it was actually my netbook I had forgotten to take out? It would have been extra hassle, and we already had enough hassle what with trying to take a YooHoo through for H.

The Atlanta airport is evil and should be avoided at all costs. I landed in A, had to take a train to E, then they said my flight was in B, so I took a train to B, and they said to go back to E. Yeesh. I ending up doing this journey with a couple I met in the train. Once they finally started boarding our flight they called us up by zones, to walk down the walkway to a stairway to get on a bus to go to the airplane. Zones really worked well for that. Then we sat for an hour on the tarmac, waiting to takeoff. There was no beverage service on this flight, and they made us turn off our phones. Since Brent and H were flying on Southwest and I was on Delta (a free flight is a free flight), it was a good thing I managed to fire off a text letting him know I was running behind.

Once I got to Tennessee, Brent made us eat at the Awful House—I mean Waffle House. H ate a grilled cheese sandwich and ¼ of my waffle. At least this time Brent didn't make me try grits.

Brent met me at the airport with a icy cold Diet Dr. Pepper. It's nice to be loved.

To be continued…

The Bucket List

Having just marked one thing off the bucket list (be in a play), I have started to wonder what I/we should tackle next. You see, it's a family bucket list, with a few things on it that are obviously mine (like Brent is going to learn to make molten chocolate fudge cake) and a few that are Brents like visit 50 states. He has two left, and we're going to Tennessee next week. The other is Alaska.

Other things that we have already done are: visit the Mystery Spot, visit the Winchester Mystery House, see Niagara Falls, visit Arches, go to Mt. Rushmore, go to Washington DC, and we have been all over New York State.

The current list:

Carlsbad Caverns

Glacier National Park

Yellowstone (we've been there, but H hasn't)

Zions

Bryces

Go to Catalina Island (again, H hasn't been)

Great Stone Face (I'm not sure if Brent has been there or not, but there is a rock formation that is in the shape of Joseph Smiths head)

Paul Bunyan's Log Pile (Brent and I found this, and H hasn't been)

Make Macaroni Grill Lemon Cake

Disneyland/Disney World (Spring Break of 2011)

Gettysburg (the one thing we didn't see when we were in DC)

Go on a Cruise

Hole-In-The-Rock

Rome/Italy (I want to visit all the things mentioned in Angels and Demons)

Set-up model train in basement

Take H on a river run

Take H to New York City

Stonehenge

Timpanogas Cave (take H before it shuts down)

Heber Creeper

Durango, Colorado

Grand Canyon

Find, Destroy Atlantis

Drive through Uintahs (that's a Brent one)

Be on Wheel of Fortune (Lindsay)

Write a book (again, Lindsay)

South American Ruins

Visit all 50 states (so close Brent)

Scuba Diving

Snorkeling

I'm thinking the next on the list will be the Great Stone Face or Paul Bunyans log pile. It is way too freaking hot to visit Hole-In-The-Rock, and we will most likely do Zions or Bryces for fall break. Perhaps we will do Timp. Cave while my nieces are out here.